Friday, February 10, 2012

Loving our husbands

Being a pastor's wife is no easy task.  The Bible teaches us in Genesis that God created woman to be her husband's help meet. How a ministry-wife helps her husband is somewhat different than how other wives fulfill that role.  This is why I am focusing in our Pastor's Wives Meetings on what are the responsibilities of the pastor's wife, and how to fulfill that role through walking with the Lord

In Titus 2:4 we learn that the older women are to teach the younger women how to love their husbands. With this month being February, I used the holiday of Valentine's Day to discuss the importance of loving our husbands. (First I had to have some of the city ladies explain what Valentine's Day was to the village ladies.) 

Just as it is common in Western cultures to gripe and complain about our husbands, so it is here. In a society where much of life is communal, there is much opportunity to sit around and gossip. There is always much laughter when I get on this topic because it is so prevalent. (Tanzanians laugh when they get nervous or feel guilty.) So rather than focusing on what we don't like about our husbands, I encouraged them to each tell me something they love/respect about their husbands. I enjoyed hearing the things they said. One wife appreciated how her husband handles money. Another her husband's humility and gentleness. Another her husband's faithfulness to the Lord and his ministry.

As part of our time together I wanted to do something fun that they wouldn't have opportunity to do otherwise. I decided we would make sugar cookies. They had fun rolling out the dough and cutting it into heart shapes. After they cooled we frosted them and put sprinkles on. As we sat and enjoyed some of our labors, I explained that I wanted each of them to take a cookie and give it to their husband and tell him they love him. I encouraged them to find a special way to give it to him. Maybe putting it on his Bible to find when he went to read it. Or perhaps on his pillow to see when he went to bed. Then I told them I would ask them next month what they did. Just today one of the husbands told me thank you for helping his wife make him a cookie. When I asked how she gave it to him he told me, with a big smile on his face, she made a card in the shape of a heart and wrote on it "I love you very much." He not only enjoyed the cookie, but he said this morning he again looked at the card and read it. He said it made him very happy. (Which makes this teacher very happy!)

Next month we'll meet again and continue learning how we can be godly pastor's wives. In the weeks in between we have selected prayer partners to pray and encourage each other. I'm sure they would appreciate your prayers as well. To assist you, I've added the wives names to the list of pastors/churches on the sidebar.


  1. How exciting Tammy! I'm just thrilled that everything went so well... sounds like your prayer for help with Swahili was answered!?! Oh our ladies are going to be so BLESSED by these monthly get-togethers! :-)

  2. Great post, Tammy! I love how you made the cookies together with your ladies and then asked them to give one to their husbands in a special way. I especially love how you made them accountable by asking them to give a report. :-)

    Such great ideas. You are doing a great job, and I know your ladies are gleaning a lot to enhance their marriages.

  3. tammy this blessed me sooo much. i especially liked the fact that this husband was sooo blessed over something so simple to show his wives love and also how much he loved her. keep up the good work. we love and miss you all.

  4. Pray for you often Tammy! Thanks for sharing this....gave me an idea to do this with my children for their daddy! Prov. 3:5-6